Hey fellow bloggers! I’m sorry I haven’t been able to publish my stories for a long time. But what can I do? I was truly depressed and wasn’t thinking much about plots. Now I’m back again. Yet, this time it’s not a story, but real-life incident that I am writing. It is rather serious and I need to tell you about it. So, here goes:
Today I didn’t go to school because it was raining cats and dogs and I wasn’t feeling well. At precisely 10 AM, I was sitting on my bed, studying history. My exams are coming near, so I was trying to concentrate. There was no one at home other than my elder brother Rick and myself. But before I could start reading ‘the comparison between Gupta Empire and Roman Empire’, there was furious knocking at my bedroom door. I usually study with my door locked. So I got up and opened the door before Rick could knock it down. He ferociously strode inside, pushing me aside.
‘You!’ he screamed, looking at me. His sizzling brown eyes bored into mine and I stepped backwards. What was he accusing me of this time? He looked furious with rage. His teeth were gritted, nostrils were flaring and his chest was rising and falling with each intake and outbreath. MY heart starting throbbing loudly and I felt tightness in my stomach. What was it this time?
‘Did you tell Tina that I’m schizophrenic?’ His voice almost shook me while his eyes were trying to screen me.
I was almost whimpering and my hands and feet were cold. I wanted to answer before he could shout again, but my throat had gone dry.
‘N…no…’ I uttered in a hardly audible voice.
‘You are lying.’ He shrieked in an awful voice. Without any hesitation, he came near me and grabbed me by my shoulders with both hands. ‘She told me so herself. Why would you lie like that? Why would you do this to me?’
He shook hard me while spitting on my face. With each shake, my world was in whirls with his face in focus. My brain had I lot of answers prepared, but I couldn’t say them out of fear. I knew he could get violent if I told the truth. There was a list of things I wanted to scream at my mad brother.
- He actually is
- I hadn’t told Tina anything like that because mom had forbidden me from talking to his friends.
- The conversation with Tina must have been another of his hallucinations.
- My shoulders had gone numb and my head would fall off anytime.
But I couldn’t say any of these. Schizophrenics have an impaired sense of this illness affecting them. And my brother doesn’t have that sense, not even an impaired one. He lacks the insight into his own mental state. I knew if I said any of these, he would freak out some more. So I just endured the shaking silently.
‘Will you answer me? What have you got against me?’ He asked, shaking me harder.
‘I didn’t, she must be lying.’ I managed a reply. I felt bad from blaming it on Tina, but I couldn’t take the harsh treatment anymore. Rick has beastly strength and I knew if I couldn’t manage to take away his attention from me, he would crush me with his bare arms.
For a few moments he looked at me with bewilderment and the grip on my shoulders loosened a bit. He didn’t say anything, but the look in his eyes and slight part of his thin lips told me that he believed me. He slowly let go of my shoulders and stepped back. He looked down and mumbled something under his breath. Then, like he had got in, strode out of the room without saying a word of apology.
I sighed in relief and sat on my bed. My shoulders were starting to regain their ability to feel and there was a sensation, as if numerous pins were attacking them. I gulped and rubbed the sweat off my brow.
Now I am here, blogging about this because I don’t know where Rick is now. I am telling you this because I’m concerned about Rick. But I’m more worried about Tina. I don’t know what my brother will do to her; or already has done. I can’t call my brother and ask where he is or what he is doing. He is a great liar. He will tell me that he is at work and has been in his office all morning. I can’t call my parents to tell them about this because they won’t believe me. They will keep telling me that my brother is completely sane, is working in his office right now and the conversation with my brother (the shaking and shouting on his part) was nothing but another of my hallucinations. They will also try to persuade me into going to the psychiatrist again. But I hate her. Last time she told me I was schizophrenic.
You know, something shocking happened. I called my brother’s office so that they could tell me he wasn’t there. That’s how I would get the evidence of my brother’s mental disorder. But you know what they said? They said he was there all morning and they even made me talk to him…….