No-one but me

The asphalt crunched under my heavy footsteps. My back was bent and weighed down by my school bag, but my head was bowed with tension. As I turned round the corner, my home came into view. Second apartment on the third floor of the yellow building. I sighed. I knew that she was waiting there inside, thinking up ways of insulting me and humiliating me. I had told mom before, that I didn’t like to be left alone with her, but mom had told me to ignore her, telling me that she couldn’t do me any harm. But mom couldn’t understand that this woman awaiting me at home could do anything to me. This woman was insane and could harm me mentally if not physically. But mom had refused to stay at home because of her job.


I unlocked the door and pushed it open. Before stepping inside, I stomped my feet on the ground to knock off the excess dirt. Entering, I took off my shoes and put down my heavy bag on the clean, cold, white tiled floor. All the small lizards who had been partying there all day scurried away feeling my heavy footsteps. Closing the door behind, I turned to her. Yes, she was there. Trying to block her out, I casually walked to the sofa and slumped onto it. Taking off my socks one by one, I rubbed the iching reddened parts of skin.

‘How are you?’ She asked in a silky smooth voice, with no attempt to hide the sly tone.

‘I was better before seeing you.’ I replied boldly, though I was trying to ignore her.

‘So does that mean you were happy when the boy you like ignored you today? You were fine when that pretty girl rolled her eyes at you?’ She asked, her voice getting sweeter with every word.

‘I said I was better, far better before seeing you, I didn’t say I was happy.’

‘Oooooh…’ She cooed. ‘I’m so sorry to have ruined your “better” mood, but I can’t help it, can I? When you are alone, it’s quite alluring and I can’t resist myself.’

‘I can see that.’ I muttered under my breath.

‘It’s really nice when you have nothing to do, nothing to think about and nothing to worry about. Then I can occupy all of you.’ 

I could feel her smiling.

‘I have other things to do. You’re wrong. I have work to do. And you can’t occupy all of me.’

‘Don’t lie dearest. You know as well as I, that you are a good for nothing. You can have nothing to do.’

‘Of course I have!’ I argued. I could feel hot blood rushing through my veins.

‘Whom are you lying to?’ 

My heart skipped a beat and my throat tightened at that. Whom was I lying to? I could feel a piercing feeling in my head as my stomach tightened at the harsh truth.

‘What do you do after returning from school? You check your phone for texts from your friends, hoping they care for you, hoping they feel that you are worth their time. But don’t you really know that these “friends” have friends which are really their friends? Don’t know understand that when you see no notifications or texts awaiting your response?’ She continued in a slow, slithering pace.

I had no reply to that. I knew it was true…..

‘And after you have checked for texts, you open your blog, to see if someone has read that shit that you write. Oh my, I don’t even know how someone can manage to write things so boring and worthless! And as usual, no one thinks that your “stories” are worth reading. But you still hope….. Hope that someone will!’

The truths were starting to devour me. I wanted to talk back, I wanted to stop her. But how could I deny the truth? My eyes were stinging and were brimmed up with tears.

‘You don’t give up, do you? Then you try to draw something. I don’t know why you spend so much money on charcoal, colours and brushes. They all go to waste. You know you can’t draw, but still you don’t stop from torturing the eyes of the viewer, do you?’

I knew my eyes would burst out any moment now. I could feel my tightened lips trembling and chin quivering in anger. My eyes were squeezed in rage. I clenched and unclenched my fists, trying in think of an answer. I looked at her, now trying to face her with courage. She looked so much like me; the same brown hair, the dark small eyes, the round face and heavy figure. But she had a shrewd look in her, and definitely more confidence. Her small dark eyes had a strange glint that I never had. She also looked happy, pleased with herself. Her tongue was sharper than the sword and never failed to hurt me.

‘At least, I don’t give up.’ I managed through gritted teeth.

‘Huh! Why will you? You don’t understand that nothing is gonna work for you. Tell me,’ She leaned towards me from her armchair, her legs crossed, her elbows resting on her thighs and chin cupped in her palms, ‘don’t you understand you are utterly useless? I mean, you can’t do anything and no-one needs you.’ She said matter-of-factly.

‘Who are you to tell me so?’ I tried to fight back, refraining from strangling her.

‘You know who I am.’ She said, rolling her eyes. ‘And,’ She added wide eyed, ‘You know I’m right. Don’t,’ She squinted her eyes, sat back and waved her right hand casually at me. ‘Don’t lie to yourself honey.’

I was lost. I didn’t have anything to say. I was lost in my mind. I was lost in dispair and self-loathing. Why was I hating her? I couldn’t deny anything she was saying. I had to admit to myself, she was right.

‘I know. I know who I am. I know, trust me. But why do you need to remind me of this everyday?’ I tried to hide the pain and tears. I gulped down a sob, but I knew she could tell from my agonized expression that I was admitting to her.

‘Cause you don’t stop trying.’ Her face was unreadable. ‘Even though you will always be a loser.’

I shook my head, my eyes squeezed shut and lips pursed.

‘Why don’t you leave me?’ I screamed. My open mouth quivered and I started sobbing. I was furious.

‘How can I? I can’t go unless you drive me out of yourself. I’m only a part of your mind.’ She smiled craftily, knowing her place in my head was permanent. She would live till I die.

Note: Due to WordPress glitches, I am not being notified of the new posts by some of the bloggers I follow. I try to read everyone’s posts, but unfortunately I can’t see the new posts. 

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72 Comments Add yours

  1. magarisa says:

    A powerful, engaging piece! I know this horrible character all too well.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Brutal, isn’t she? Waiting to assault till I’m all alone by myself

      Liked by 2 people

      1. magarisa says:

        Yes, that’s when she has your undivided attention.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Yep. Unfortunately

        Liked by 1 person

      3. magarisa says:

        From my own experience, I’ve learned time and time again that I’m stronger than she is. Nevertheless, I still doubt my own strength sometimes.

        Liked by 2 people

      4. cwhiteweb says:

        Which is normal, I’ve found hey. And that’s okay. But you keep fighting, because “the battle is not for the strong” (Ecclessiates 9:11). The pain of battle fades when you taste victory šŸ˜Š

        Liked by 2 people

      5. That’s true. I fight her everyday. I will keep doing so

        Liked by 1 person

      6. cwhiteweb says:

        You do that! She’ll fall quiet, one day, soon šŸ˜Š

        Liked by 1 person

      7. That’s good. Thanks Peela. Yey, I know your name!!

        Liked by 1 person

      8. cwhiteweb says:

        Hehe what’s yours?

        Liked by 1 person

      9. Debadrita. Quite big huh!

        Liked by 1 person

      10. cwhiteweb says:

        Haha yes! Debadrita. What does it mean?

        Liked by 1 person

      11. Beloved of God. Deb=God, Adrita=Beloved. My mom is very spiritual

        Liked by 1 person

      12. cwhiteweb says:

        Wow! What language?

        Liked by 1 person

      13. It’s Bengali. You see, I’m from Kolkata, India

        Like

      14. cwhiteweb says:

        Ooh!! I have two Bangla friends šŸ˜€
        Well, I also happen to be in Lanka hey

        Liked by 1 person

      15. You are from Lanka?

        Like

      16. cwhiteweb says:

        No, I’m African

        Liked by 1 person

      17. Oh. I’ve always dreamed of going there

        Liked by 1 person

      18. cwhiteweb says:

        Which part? I’ve always wanted to see India too. There is a university id love to study in

        Liked by 1 person

      19. Well, Egypt, then, Tanzania, Johannesburg, and see the famous rivers and all. Which university is it?

        Liked by 1 person

      20. cwhiteweb says:

        Ooh, that doesn’t sound bad at all šŸ˜Š
        I’m in Colombo

        Liked by 1 person

      21. Which university did you want to go to in India?

        Liked by 1 person

      22. cwhiteweb says:

        Spicer University

        Liked by 1 person

      23. cwhiteweb says:

        Far from Kolkata?

        Liked by 1 person

      24. It’s in Pune. Far from Kolkata. It’s in South West

        Liked by 1 person

      25. cwhiteweb says:

        Aah, big country blues!

        Liked by 1 person

      26. Sometimes, I think so too

        Liked by 1 person

      27. cwhiteweb says:

        But I’m in Lanka. University.

        Liked by 1 person

      28. magarisa says:

        Well expressed! Thanks, Peela. šŸ˜Š

        Liked by 2 people

      29. Her name is Peela?

        Liked by 1 person

      30. magarisa says:

        Yes, I asked her.

        Liked by 1 person

      31. Can’t lose to her, can I?

        Liked by 1 person

      32. cwhiteweb says:

        You never will, don’t you worry. She doesn’t have any power over you, unless you give it to her.

        Liked by 1 person

      33. True. Did you like the story?

        Liked by 1 person

      34. cwhiteweb says:

        I did very. Very engaging! I like how you write šŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

      35. Thanks. *Waiting to know what’s in the painting*

        Like

      36. cwhiteweb says:

        Hehe I have the drafts already. I’ll publish two tomorrow šŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

      37. Yey. What happened to the blonde girl? I liked her

        Liked by 1 person

      38. cwhiteweb says:

        Haha I don’t draw the anime myself, unfortunately. I can’t draw to save my life. So I use what I can get online that best depicts what I need

        Liked by 1 person

      39. Oh, so the blonde made her hair red? šŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

      40. cwhiteweb says:

        Lol let’s go with that, and then she’ll have black hair at some point soon, any then possibly blonde again. Let’s say she is free and adventurous šŸ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

      41. That’s good. I like the guy a lot. šŸ˜‚

        Liked by 1 person

      42. cwhiteweb says:

        Anime guys are flames! šŸ”„šŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

      43. Huh, they really are!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Kaycee says:

    Lol so it was your mind. Guard it, don’t listen to it. You are worth Greatness

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey, thanks šŸ˜ƒ

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Kaycee says:

        U’re welcome

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Brooooo šŸ˜€

        Like

      3. Kaycee says:

        Lol Brooooo

        Liked by 1 person

      4. šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

        Like

  3. Brilliant as usual but may be can try other genres now. It will help you write better ones, I suppose.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. daisymae2017 says:

    Liked reading No-one but me. I got your site from doodlingpanda’s site.Followed you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I checked out your blog too. Pretty nice!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. daisymae2017 says:

        Followed you. Thanks for checking my blog out.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. It was a pleasure.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. It was a pleasure.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Welcome šŸ˜€

        Liked by 1 person

  5. aquibview says:

    Such a lovely post (I am so sad because I just miss my classes today, I am pissed at myself again).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are in college? How did you miss your classes?

      Like

      1. aquibview says:

        The time I was replying you. My bad. And the time just passed, it was from 9:25 and after I won’t get entry. It happens, don’t you worry.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Oh, but still, sorry. What are you studying?

        Like

      3. aquibview says:

        Biotechnology.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Nice šŸ˜ŠšŸ˜Š.

        Like

  6. Don’t blame yourself. People make mistakes. Maybe your friends will help you out on this one.

    Like

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